Alphabet Soup

“Hey.. i fel lik wrtn a blg tdy mn… wt cn i psbly wrt on? u r d htsht wrtr, sgst smthn naa…”
“uuhhmmmm……”

If you asked for a penny for my thoughts then you can take your sweet time to cash in. Even if your efforts do not render you fruitless, you will will definitely be left voweless. This is not pejorative me, this is disgusted me.
Fortunately this pandemic has not spread to the vocal media, limiting itself to the texting world and of course the social media, which is basically another launch pad for such fads. The rise of everyone showing everyone else what they are thinking, has inadvertently contributed no doubt. This new hunger for vowels has left syllables in a lurch, as more and more syllables die a silent death each day.

“Arre crsly yr… tl me na, i fel lik wrtn tdy, jst nd d psh”
“A push is all you need. Just call me you are on a nice high cliff or building.”

An insight into the character of such an individual highlights, apart from my joblessness, that the only reason people fall prey to this pandemic is to FIT IN. They kill their originality, and there, rises from the ashes, a requiem for “KEWL”-NESS. Like a multi-syllable word, they ring through the social circles.
I have been to the dark side and back. It is scary. It is alien, “wtr” being the only source of hydration, and being put on a vowel diet all day! Believe you me, the “ppl” there know only hatred towards syllables, its genocide without the i, e, o !! Seriously, someone feed these people words! (woot woot pun!)

“y du u nt lik it yaar, savs so mch tim!”
“I might not be very easy on the clock, but at least i’m easy on the brain.”

Just as you start banging your head on the phone or the computer screen, it gets worse… Now they try to mix the syllable deprived words with Cuban style (and usually thinking they are doing an African impression). What adds to the misery is the fact that they think to carry it off with panache. Constant reality checks just go down in vain as “if thy be doomed by self, thy be doomed forever”, i hope some great guy said that, given my lack of credibility amongst their clique.

“Oh cm on… u cnt ht dis soo mch!?”
“I would love to respond if i knew the question. I can only make so much out of the three comprehendible words, “Oh”, “on”, “so”+o, and the punctuating question mark.”

The world is doomed. The monster has spread, he/she shall soon get to the few syllables remaining in this beautiful world. If you are one of us, please beware. He is coming for us. Its not too lng b4 he ctchs us 2. OMG wts hpnin? NO! nt me! Oh fck!

*sign out*